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My life is flying away

Category : Other
by Believe
10/21/10

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I recently moved to live with my uncle because me and my mom had problems. Everything has been fine up until now. I don't know what cause me to snap, but a couple of my friends came over, and for some reason I got the same feeling of loneliness that I've felt when I was in America. So I did something that was very rude, I went to go out to walk, leaving them there. But they were doing perfectly fine without me or at least I thought. My uncle was there to so I didn't leave them alone. When I come back, after they left. I started to cry and scream and curse. I've kept everything bottled up until now. So now I regret the whole thing, my uncle doesn't understand what I feel, and I have no one to talk to. And I'm living in a foreign country. I don't know what to do anymore. My faith with god is or has slipped away from me. And I don't even know what I want to do. I don't even know what I'm good at. I'm 16 years old already. I failed 10th grade because I was being to lazy. And now I'm questioning myself what can I do with my life to give it purpose.. I've always had an empty feeling in me. I don't know if it's depression or if it's just a stage that I'm going though. But it's been like this for several years already. I've even thought of suicide. I've started drinking a lot recently. And now I don't know what to do anymore with my life. I feel like I screwed it up really bad.

Replies:

11/01/10 (over 1 year ago)

by Wheelo:

We are odd animals, we have feelings that can take use over, and sometimes sit on us for a long time. I felt that way as a teen. Now I want those going through these things to know that you aren't alone. You are trying to find you way in the world. I'm sorry it feels so rough right now, but if you want it, brighter days will come. They might be slow and hard to find, but they are there for you. I sometimes wish I was in a position of less obligation and then I would work small jobs to travel around the world. Experience the human life. Still, love to you and your choices

10/22/10 (over 1 year ago)
by Believe:
Thank you everyone for the hugs, and thank you Love for the advice. This might sound a little sad, but your the first person to say that kind of thing to me. No one has had faith in me or even told me how special I was. I feel like I've just always blended into the background. Just you telling me that gives me a lot of hope and a sense of overwhelming happiness. Thank you(: <3

Reply

10/21/10 (over 1 year ago)

by love:

Man, I'm so sorry you're going through that. I remember being 16 and going through similar things that I thought would never end and feeling some of the same things - it was rough to go through it. Most of all, I felt lonely and all alone like no one understood or cared. But, somehow I made it and things got better beyond my imagination. Hang in there. Don't ever give up or lose hope. You are special and stronger than you think you are. My hope for you is that you realize and know how special and worthy you are. I will be thinking of you and rooting for you. Things DO get better.